12 things we learnt from the 2m 33s Point Break remake trailerBy Editor
To thousands upon thousands of expert film fans, there is one film that is untouchable.
Ok two, there are two films that are untouchable. No, not The Godfather and Citizen Kane. I'm talking about Con Air and Point Break. And whilst Con Air is safe for the moment, although there is talk of a sequel in space, a reimagining of Point Break definitely is on its way.
This morning, as FIFA officials were bundled into police vans, we were all treated to the first teaser trailer for the remake in question. Did it look like a promising jaunt or a smear on the film's legacy?
1. This sounds like something you'd hear on a voiceover for an incontinence product advert.
2. Wow, dropping money on a poor area of the world is pretty cool, I guess. Although, it's a bit of a leap from the bank robber crew of the initial version who just wanted to fund their everlasting gap year.
3. Hey, it's Delroy Lindo. I see he's playing a high ranking member of a police department here. I'm glad to see he's never typecasted. His past endeavours include: Detective Victor Moran in Law and Order, Detective Roland Castlebeck in Gone in Sixty Seconds and MVA Agent Harry Roedecker in The One.
4. Woah, this isn't just ANY FBI agent, this is Johnny Utah. I bet he hits Boomtown extra early so the temporary tattoo stand doesn't run out of henna.
5. 'I believe that, like me, the people behind this are extreme athletes'. Sorry, pal, you can't just call yourself an extreme athlete. So arrogant.
6. Wait, it's out this Christmas? Who the hell is going to want to watch this during Christmas?
7. I swear I've seen this scene in the Fast and Furious franchise. But then again, wasn't F&F basically a Point Break rip off anyway? I'm very confused.
8. Wow, they caused a rock avalanche to cover up (or "liberate") all the gold.
9. Christ, Ray Winstone is playing the Gary Busey character in a terrible accent.
10. Hey look, their helmets have a Barack Obama design! Well, at least I think they are. If so, that's a nice nod to the Dead Presidents masks of the original.
11. So this is what Utah meant by 'extreme athletes': jumping off a mountain in flying squirrel sleeping bag suits.
12. 'The only law that matters is gravity'. LAME. What does that even mean? I'm pretty sure Newton's law is a theory! A THEORY, Bodhi. God, Swayze would've refused that line, for sure. He had cool stuff to say like, 'They only live to get radical' or 'Back off, Warchild, seriously' or 'Yo, Johnny! I see you in the next life!' I miss Swayze.