Sex: are you feeling the fresher pressure yet?By TheStudentGuide
Freshers’ week should be one of the best weeks of your life, but it can (for the same reasons) be one of the most stressful.
You’re mixing with a new group of people, and whilst you should abide by the mantra that “they should like me for who I am” there is still a lot of pressure to be seen as ‘normal’. This means asking yourself questions you probably never considered much with the group of friends you were comfortable with at home: am I drinking enough? Am I drinking too much? Do I appear smart? Do I appear too smart? Am I funny or just a massive try hard?
And then there is the major one—have I accumulated enough notches on my bedpost?
It can seem like everyone is at it when you’re at uni. The thin walls and close living quarters don’t do much to hide the fact. But before you become paranoid at your own level of sexual activity, let’s get a few things straight.
Success is not measured by your number of ‘conquests’
Whether your magic number is 1 or 100, there are far more important things to be proud of. Being clever, funny, kind or good at sport can all lead on to greater things.
Also, already having banged lots of people will probably only lead on to banging a load more. And earning a reputation like that will probably mean that anyone with any sense will avoid you like a nasty case of crabs.
Quality not quantity
If anyone tells you that they would rather have ten crap sessions than one really good round, tell them they’ve obviously been doing it wrong.
In fact, maybe no sex is better than very bad, drunk, awkward sex?
When it comes to sex, people lie
Surveys give us the results we probably expected on this one: men will claim they have slept with more people than they have, women will claim fewer.
Ignore the people who are overly open about their sex lives. Some just can’t help starting conversations about their encounters, which can leave others a little bit quiet. And their illogical conclusion is that all of the quiet ones are silent because they are virgins. No, they just like to keep most things to do with their privates private.
And if you are a virgin, so what?
Just as your housemate has his reasons for mounting anything that moves, you have your reasons for not doing so.
Beliefs, circumstance, or other priorities are all more than satisfactory reasons for not having popped your cherry.
Unfortunately the freshers’ t-shirt is like a red flag to a bull for a horny second year
FAF doesn’t only mean fit as f***. Prick your ears when you’re in the queue for Gatecrasher and you may just hear a particularly obnoxious re-fresher saying how he is “going to f*** a fresher tonight, mate”. Lovely.
We hate to scaremonger, but first-year females can be easy bait. You’re away from the rules and disdain of your parents, you might have ascribed to the ‘anything goes’ attitude, and maybe you have been feeling the fresher pressure. So why shouldn’t you go home with him, right?
Generally these males are harmless. Yes they will love you and leave you, but if you can take a knock to your feeling of self-worth then so what? ‘I got mine’ as they say.
However, if you are the kind who falls easily, exercise a little more caution. And certainly don’t go home with a guy just because all of your new mates have pulled.
Being in a loving relationship is NOT going to ruin your freshers’ week
If you’re worrying that you’re not going to be getting the full fresher experience because of your luscious lovely back home, stop being ridiculous.
Firstly, there is so much more to freshers’ than sex. Getting tipsy, having a laugh and meeting new people doesn’t mean you have to be getting jiggy in the process.
Secondly, if you’re fretting that much about being repressed by your other half, than you should not be in a relationship.
Finally, if you are in a long term, committed and physical relationship, remember that whilst your housemates may get sporadic loving, you can have it whenever you see your boyfriend/girlfriend.
What other pressures do you think the modern fresher has to contend with?