How to get the ultimate hangover!By Emma
By now alcohol is probably a familiar friend. You may have dabbled with the occasional post-alcohol headache, but you ain’t seen nothing yet. It is every student’s right; nay, duty to set an entirely new precedent for unimaginable hangover misery during their first year of university.
Tell-tale hangover signs include brain-pummelling headaches, chundering everywhere, the sweats, diarrhea, thirst, aches and pains, utter despair, and a strong dose of drinker’s remorse.
It would be unthinkable to miss out on university rite of passage, so we’ve tried and tested The Student Guide’s Fool-Proof Formula for the Ultimate Hangover, just for you.
Step 1: Don’t eat before you go out
Eating before you drink will only absorb the precious alcohol, reducing your chances of scoring a really nasty hangover.
Step 2: Pre-drink, Pre-drink, Pre-drink
Pre-drinking is all about saving money. Drinks in clubs and pubs are pricey, so to make pre-drinking as effective as possible, try and drink something as cheap and alcoholic as you can find.
Step 3: Mix drinks
Try one of everything, preferably all in the same cup. Ring of Fire is a great game for creating excellent home-made cocktails, infused with the various flavours of cheap booze.
Step 4: Drink dark liquors
Darker beverages (red wine, dark rum, whisky) are pumped with more chemicals than lighter drinks. More chemicals = worse hangover, kerching!
Step 5: Champagne
The more decadent the drink, the worse the hangover. As an added bonus, splashing out on champagne is an almost guaranteed way of feeling some hardcore drinker’s remorse.
Step 6: Ignore your instincts
If you feel as though you’ve reached your alcohol limits, man up and down it, fresher.
Step 7: Avoid water
Hangovers work because booze dehydrates you. If you drink water throughout the night, you will dilute the alcohol in your body, which will in-turn stop your head from feeling like it’s been run over.
Step 8: Have a one-night stand
Drunken one-night stands are a major cause of drinker’s remorse. Once your beer goggles have slipped off, the morning after can be really awkward. If you have sozzled-sex without using a condom, you could end up with a serious STI hangover.
Step 9: Do stupid things
Lose your keys, spend all your money, throw up in taxis, get in a fight – be as inventive as you like! The more idiotic you behave whilst drunk, the more idiotic and repentant you’ll feel when you wake up.