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General Election 2015: how not to vote

By Editor
General Election 2015: how not to vote

I don't know if you know, but it's POLLING DAY!

It's like if Mike Tyson were to go back in time and fight Mohammed Ali, but times a million. I, for one, am very excited and can barely type.

Just who will lead us for the next five years? Well, there's one way you can help decide that: by heading to your polling station. But if you're a first-time voter (or if you're not, but a little bit naughty) you might not know what's acceptable when voting.

Here's our handy guide:


It isn't strictly illegal to be under the influence of alcohol when voting, but you're going to look like a choice spanner if you do. There's nothing worse than finishing work, waiting in a cold gymnasium and then being accosted by a young lout.

Taking a selfie at the ballot box

For some reason unbeknownst to even Stephen Hawking, the Electoral Commission recently had to issue a statement relating to their stance on the act of taking a picture of yourself in a voting booth. Now, I know it's the most exciting thing to happen since last week's news that a lady gave birth to female baby, but you're going to have to resist posting up a dimly lit picture of your chin and a ballot sheet in the background.

Wearing something politically overt

You're passionate and everyone knows passion is sexy. However, no one wants to know which way you swing, so don't turn up dressed like Lenin with a copy of Das Kapital under your arm or in a union jack suit, shouting about how the Countryside Alliance don't have the balls that they used to.

Liveblogging the event

We all love telling everyone what we're doing and our opinion on it at every moment of the day. Sadly, though, apparently it's against the law to give your loyal 76 followers on Twitter what it was like to use a pen in a weird screened booth. They will have to experience this mind-bending moment themselves.

Getting a dutty wine started in the queue

Sure, there's been some top bangers released as of late, and as tempting as is it to get your smart phone out and play a tinny sounding iteration of Cheerleader or Dexta Daps while you're waiting, you cannot. You will promptly be asked to leave, which will be really embarrassing for everyone involved.


You can go left, right or centre, but just make sure you exercise your democrat right and represent yourselves as students. Oh, and if none appeal to you, spoil your vote.


Tagged: general election

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