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5 New Year’s resolutions for idiots: What you SHOULD be doing this year!

By Editor
5 New Year’s resolutions for idiots: What you SHOULD be doing this year!

It doesn’t matter how good you are – nobody is perfect. Thankfully, the New Year gives you the chance to reinvent yourself. It's a time where it's possible to commit to a hobby, adventure or activity that you've never done before.

Aim to read 10 books

The youth of today are constantly being derided for their alleged lack of appreciation for the printed word. And whilst I'm sure you're reading this on a tablet or smartphone whilst stuffing your face with  a share size bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos, that doesn't mean you don't enjoy reading a from a physical book from time to time.

Ok, so maybe you were a slouch last year. It's understandable; your coursework may have piled up, exams got in the way, and all of your favourite shows seemed to start one after the other in an endless chain of superb television. You can still spend a lot time on work, but why not spend an hour a day getting into a book? They don't have to be all classics. Just get cracking, and the next time someone asks you what you're reading you'll actually have an answer.




Learn a language

Are you sick of going on holiday and mumbling the absolute bare minimum to a waiter before shuffling off to speak English with the friends you came with? Well, why not consider taking classes? There are loads on offer in the city or town you're in. In fact, why not join a society? It will be free and you can go with people you know. What's great is, if you start now you'll have the fundamentals of a language sorted and will be ready to chat with an unsuspecting bartender.


Eat well, but don't go crazy

At the moment everyone is going buck wild on the idea that January means it's time to start starving yourself or jumping on a weird diet. Well, the truth is that you'll give it a go for a month, get bored and start eating whatever you like (presumably Chilli Heatwave Doritos if you haven't learnt you lesson the first time). If you want to keep the pounds off, it's simple: reduce your carbs and sugar intake and eat your greens.  A packet of crisps or a cone of chips once in a while is not going to hurt you.



Do something that scares you

Mundanity is one of the most toxic things that can happen when living a life of routine. ‘So what is to be done?’ you may be thinking. How about you have a go at something that terrifies you? You know that girl/boy who you always pass in the library but never speak to? Go have a word next time you're out. Maybe they like Chilli Heatwave Doritos as much as you. Maybe they'll have their heads screwed on and understand that Cool Original is obviously the best flavour. But you'll never know unless you try. The worst that can happen is they reveal their preference to be Tangy Cheese. In which case, you never talk to them AGAIN.



Try not to die

I'm sure 2015 will be full of thrills, spills, comedy, tragedy and many more clichéd phrases, but remember one thing: when you drunkenly climb into a skip on your way home from the club and start spinning around whilst clutching a defunct microwave that is soon to fly out of your arms and take your friend's head clean off, be careful. Of course, do things you'd not normally do, but remember to have some sense. I should know, my Morphy Richards scar will never heal.




Tagged: work, resolutions, new year, fun, free, doritos, comedy, art

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