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Poo for two: best animal dating tips!

By Sophie
Poo for two: best animal dating tips!

It’s not just humans who appreciate a good date!

Over in the animal kingdom, our furry friends have spent thousands of years perfecting their Mr and Mrs Hubba Hubba routines!

If the world of chivalry is lost on you then look no further than the antics of these creative little creatures! From feats of stamina, shameless exhibitionism to good vibrations, these guys have got it going on!

1. Polar bears: ain’t no mountain high enough

Once the Polar bear boys have battered off their rivals they set off in hot pursuit of their female counterparts. During the mating season Ms Polar bear comes into her own; any old Tom, Dick or Harry simply won’t do, and in order to prove his prowess the male polar bear must chase his lady most ardently up and down many a mountain peak. Once his stamina is proven the happy couple have their first roll in the snow before the male moves on a week later.   

2. Bower Birds: sitting pretty

Once again in the animal kingdom it’s the male who pulls out all the stops to attract a mate. The bower bird is no exception; knowing how a woman appreciates a man in touch with his feminine side, this clever little bird builds his very own love nest to lure his lady. The bower is often decorated with anything he can get his beady beak on, including shells, berries, leaves and flowers. Ah!

3. Bird of Paradise: love parade

These fanciful little birdies live in the main on the island of New Guinea in the South Pacific and are best known for their impressive plumage. In humans and animals alike, knowing how to strut your stuff is a wooing essential, and these little bad boys do it in style! Skipping from left to right they flaunt their iridescent and brightly coloured feathers at passing ladies, and speculation brings success for many of these little lotharios! See the video below for a glorious display!  

4. Alligators: slap and ‘tickle’

The male alligator is usually a lone ranging, moody kind of dude of the silent but deadly variety, but come mating season these prehistoric beasties come over all friendly! Courting in chorus is the order of the day as the male alligators gather for a head banging, water slapping, grunting session before they embark on their individual lady cruises. 

5. Sandhill Crane: shake your tail feather

Sandhill Cranes perform a rather fetching duet before they snuggle up. Hopping, crouching, bowing and leaping, they pirouette across North American and Siberian grasslands where they arouse each other with their grace, agility  and feathery beauty before settling down to incubate and raise their chicks en couple!       

6. Dolphins: hubba flubba

At the other end of the fidelity spectrum is the dirty dolphin. Coasting through the warm waters of the continental shelf these flirty and frisky fish form pods of up to 12. Together they roam through the sea snapping up fish and having a whale of time. Mating takes place all year round and leaping out of water, chasing one another and swimming belly to belly acts as foreplay before the final act, which is a rather disappointingly brief affair!     

7. Kakapo Parrot: woo with a coo

This rare flightless bird is booming marvellous when it comes to calling in a lady to roost. Like most male species he must first fight off other males to establish his ‘court’, a round little hollow with good acoustics, before settling down bring in the babes.

Once established the Pavarotti of the parrot world emits a series of deep, vibrating calls which reverberate across the New Zealand territory which is followed up with a high chirp. The motivated mamas to be must then waddle their way up the hill to find their man!

8. Dung beetle: poop my ride! 

Everyone knows that a swanky pair of wheels is sure to impress, and beetles are no exception! Once Monsieur Beetle has sniffed out a good source of dung, he gets rolling on a strictly straight line. Attracted by the smell and impressed by the male beetle’s prowess, the lady beetle hops on, hitching a ride to a suitable site for a spot of lovin’. After burying their dung ball, the beetles make love sweet love underground with their buried treasure acting as a food source for their unborn baby beetles! Sweet!     

So to recap on these lessons in love: ladies, hang back, say nothing and make them work hard, and boys: get fit, invest in some decent threads, set up your love nest, join a choir, join a dance class, team up with your mates for public head banging, perform deep throated mating calls, exude happiness and spontaneity, save for a cool set of wheels and the ladies should be queuing up! 


Tagged: fun facts, dating tips, animals

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