Petrol Stations Gifts: The Christmas Danger ZoneBy Sj.Cliff
You have less than 24 hours to get a gift and, of course, every bloody shop on earth is closed.
Grappling through your tinsel, you desperately reach out for an unopened box of Roses, A tub of biscuits that you’d forgotten about… hell, you’ll even sacrifice that wine you were saving for after chrimbo dinner! But no. Nothing.
Traveling to see you family, you see a glow in the darkness… A shop! An open shop! Oh, wait it’s a garage. But hey, maybe they will have something…
NO! Stop what you’re doing. It’s better to come clean and say you forgot a gift and will get something in the sale that to buy the basic crap that you’ll find at a garage. These are a few that are definitely not ok:
A Chocolate-Bar Selection
Yes, everyone likes chocolate (well, normal people anyway). Yes, selection boxes do exist and pretty much do the same thing. However, in grabbing a bunch of chocolate from the garage on the way to your gift exchange you lose the part that makes it special – the box. Anyone can go out at any time and grab some of your favourite sweets, the box makes it look like you’ve made a special trip. Don’t ruin it.
Car Air Freshener
Your friend/relation/host may own a car, they may like their car – but nobody likes their car SO MUCH that they want to make it smell nice for Christmas. No matter how well it’s wrapped, an air freshener is still just that. Even if it smells like jellybeans.
Garage flowers are synonymous of guilt. You’ve done something terrible and you need a quick distraction – BOOM, flowers. That and they usually look like they’re from the garage, stained and wilted from hours of sitting in the cold, fumy atmosphere.
If you don’t want to look like a (cheap) guilty douchebag, then steer away from garage flowers.
Now I don’t want to question the reliability of petrol station gadgetry, but they have to be there for a reason. If you, personally, wanted to charge your phone in the car/via a USB, you go to the nearest computer/tech/phone shop and buy something you know actually works instead of nipping down to the local petrol station and buying something you know will charge your phone once and then die. Don’t make other people suffer too.
Just no. It’s Christmas, you idiot.